Nuffnang

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Could you be more helpful?

Could you be more helpful on ruining my xmas mood?

I gave you time, I gave you chances, because I thought you could work something out?
Sometimes I wish you could just shut up instead of spouting some bullshit that didn't helping at all.
You're just being silly and childish all the time.

What's the purpose of keep telling me the things that you couldn't do and being upset about it?
Am I not upset enough?

Why can't you be more mature and say something useful to me to make me feel better, when I miss you.
When I wish to receive some reply from you, what you said made me regret instantly.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I cookED! Lolx

Yea, I prepare a not-too-grand-but-not-too-bad dinner for my family...
I don't why such a sudden, I just wanna Cook Lor...
Don't ask me why.
And those who knows me, *Cough cough*
I'm not really good at cooking...
Tikam here n there...
Pour this here add this there~
But no worry, no Bad Record YET.
hehehe. As in, my food still edible lar~

Tada!
Still not too bad right?
~Proud of myself ~ ehehehe



Friday, December 10, 2010

Interesting blogger

Xiaxue n Cheesie.
I guess lotsa young girls know these 2 famous blogger right?

Recently I just keep reading their blog... (Perhaps I'm really too free ... n BORED lol)
Ok la, I admit I'm outdated.

One of the reason that I'm a follower of their blogs, is the Frequent Updates,
to KILL my BOREDOM! ~( ̄3 ̄)~
There's lesser n lesser things that I can find to do when I'm facing my lappy.
Aiks... Emo sial. I used to stick with my lappy 20 hours per day.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Rainbow 彩虹

Chapter 1





好久没有看到彩虹了
It has been ages since I saw a rainbow
A real rainbow, in the sky.


那一瞬间。
眼泪在眼眶打滚。
就好象神在告诉我
“雨后有天晴,熬过了,晴天就来啦”

Tears was rolling in my eyes.
Rainbow symbolize peace and harmony.
Sunny day come after a big rain.
Is God telling me that
"Be brave, overcome the obstacle, and good things will come along"?


Fighting!
Be strong Jiayi!




Chapter 2

忙碌的日子里,总要停下来休息。
可是我可是闲到不能再闲了!
Ok lar, dedicate to those busy friends of mine. lol.


Chapter 3 Random updates
Regular injuries. Car lock accident, considered as quite serious case among all. lolx.




百年一见难得画面!妈妈帮可可梳毛~!
Super rare picture!






-The end-

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Super Barbie Nudy Series


Wohoho~~~

After a long time, I decided to purchase another brand of Korea contact lens...
Finally I got my Super Barbie Nudy Black! It was out of stock every where last few months...

Nah... Here's the result...


*Please ignore my one big one small eyes ><''' *


Well, the first time experience is not that pleasant... Aiks
The second i put on it, I already feel the uneasiness in my eyes.
And the vision got blocked a little by the pattern of the lens.



*messy hair*

The lens is 16mm(BIG) and it's a bit hard to adjust it to fit my pupil perfectly ... LOL
And my vision got blur and dry sometimes, My eyes are kinda sensitive one =P
My eyes turn red after 5 hours of wearing... ><




*Without make up ohoho*

Overall the effect is quite natural, consider it's a 16mm black lens...
Hehehe~
Hopefully my 2nd experience will be better... =)






Quote of the day: When I get bored with the common topic we had, Or maybe we just don't have common topic.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

磨石子

磨石子。好玩吗?
众所周知,我很懒。
磨石子这种费力费神费时间的事情,不适合我。
既然这样,为什么不找个适合的石头,反而却一直紧握手上的这颗石头,想把它磨亮。
明明就知道必须要磨好久,或者是不管磨几久,都不会变成钻石。





有时候会问自己:你并没有很喜欢他吧?
这些付出,会有回报吗?
还是到头来还是一场空?





身边的人会问:为什么是他?
天才,有钱人,好好先生你都不要,那为什么是他?
我说不上来。没有原因。
就是,曾经很讨厌,却又不讨厌,又讨厌,又不讨厌。。。
这样子一直循环着。




一块玉,不管你怎么磨,都是一块玉,不会变钻石。
它不是没有价值,就只是不是你想要的。



我在想 我到底有什么资格要求别人为我而改变
可是 父母想要的那种女婿 我不能否认的确是为我好
毕竟 我不想再玩玩而已
我会想到以后
虽然我的前几次都没有什么以后
可是或许“不小心” 我们有以后呢
那个时候再来后悔 会不会来不及了?

Thursday, October 28, 2010

优种男人


"有时候 想分享的事情
顿了一顿 觉得你可能不会明白 所以就作罢了
就像很多时候你跟我说的事情 我也不明白一样"




有着初恋般 爱玩爱闹可爱情侣的感觉
纯纯羞涩的 不管明天会发生什么事 只要在一起就好了的
那种心情 那般傻劲
已经不适合用在现在的我身上

变得现实了...
变得贪心了... ...


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
曾经想过
我要嫁个怎样的男人
要跟怎样的男人过我的下半辈子

他一定要大过我
大我很多的那种
成熟稳重
有自己的事业
可以不帅 可是一定要有智慧的优秀的男人
能够代替我父亲
带领我 保护我 教导我的
让我有安全感的一个男人




也可能
我就用我的下半辈子
呆在罗马
独自居住 过我的一个人的精彩
邂逅不同的男人
帅的 有魅力的
过了就忘了的
直到遇到一个对的人







很早之前我就知道门当户对很重要
就庆幸我自己不是富家女
要不然选择又少了

现在的女生 很可怜
不断地让自己进步
高学历 高职位
漂亮又有智慧
却落得败犬的下场
是不是这社会上的优种男人越来越少了?





End:
有时候 胡闹久了 谈的话题好没有意义 甚至是浪费时间
that's what we meant, “Crap”
废话少讲 那是了解彼此的调味料 不是主菜
对增进感情 作用不大
两个人在一起 总要来个智慧性的谈话 至少是有意义的
或者 也许 根本没有共同的话题吧

跟一些音乐爱好友 谈谈彼此对音乐的看法
或者是大学老友 谈谈自己以后的目标和理想
总会让自己很开心 很满足
就是那种感觉
好喜欢那种感觉... ...


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The CURSE

So all the 3 months curse is caused by me?

Now I know it =(

I was so passionate n active for the first few month.
Not until 3 months later.
I will get really sick for facing the same people continuously for 3 months.
No passion no patience no love NOTHING other than bored and some irritation.

I'm bad.
When you just fully explore someone, you will get bored.
Is it true?
When there's nothing for you to discover
you look for next target...( I not yet that level lol)

Is that a curse?
Or just a psychic side of me?
I hate myself being like this
hurting people and hurting myself

And there's something always on my mind, wondering how is it possible for those couple to be in a relationship for 1 year, 2 year, 5 years, 10 years or even enter marriage
That's sound so impossible mission for me since I get bored of one individual within 3 months.

I try so hard to fix it fix it fix it lorrr...
My heart has been telling me
let him go, let him go


How I hope I can have a long lasting, sweet relationship.
And now i realize that's too greedy to ask for it?
Am I suppose to be a player and change target time by time.
Nop, definitely no for me.
I rather to be single in that case.

God, change me. Change my heart.
I wanna get happiness.
I don't want to end up being alone.
=.=

-我没资格谈恋爱-





爱好自由,贪图新鲜,爱慕虚荣的我
不是一味地讨好和温柔
能满足的

Sunday, October 17, 2010

我讨厌你

我讨厌我们像两条平行线
永远无法交会

我讨厌我们生在两个世界
思想上存在好大的差异

我讨厌你把我的思绪搞混
把我好好的生活弄得乱七八糟

我讨厌我混乱的思绪
把我的生活搞得一团糟

我讨厌你说的话
让我越来越后退

我讨厌你天真的以为
只要努力就能忘记所有的不适合

我讨厌你的举动
让我越来越没信心

我讨厌 为什么让我遇见你
为什么要让我混乱 凭什么要让我难过 凭什么给我一线希望
然后 害怕所有的一切 在以后的哪一天 又会消失

我讨厌你对我好
要是你对我不好的那一天 我会恨你
我真的会恨你

我讨厌你!!!


Friday, October 15, 2010

I ♥ SubZero

Just to share with you the latest T shirt series from Subzero.
Casual yet lovely!








Quote of the day: “一直想要拉近我们的距离,是我错了。”



Monday, October 11, 2010

It's not that easy 没那么简单

我想一个人 静静地离开 到一个好远的地方去
不管生活多苦多难 是好是坏 都是自己的选择
我自私 我不想背负责任 不想背负期望
我只想 没有压力 没有谴责 没有牵累别人地过日子
I wanna leave. far away from here.
No matter how tough the life will be
Good or Bad
is my own choice.
I'm selfish.
I don't wanna bear any responsibility or hope
I wanna be free
free from any condemnation and pressure
and free from became somebody's burden.

我很差劲
不管做什么决定都好像是错的
因为全世界都在否定
尤其是我最亲的家人
I'm a loser
As if every decision of mine is wrong
Because it's like I've denied by the whole world
especially my closest family



不被祝福的爱情
很辛苦
因为这个世界 不只有我们2个人
做夹心人的我 身心疲惫
我不知道该如何是好
被否定的当儿 我无法反驳
因为 他们说的都是对的
也许 嫁户好人家
就是他们最大的安慰了

The relationship that's not blessed by others
is tough to maintain
That's not only 2 of us in this world
Being a middle man is exhausting.
I can't retort when my statement is denied.
Because they are correct.
They just want me to marry a good guy,
and it will be their greatest pleasure.

我要的生活 被认为没有前途
可是我何尝不想有个完美的计划
来策划我美好的将来
让自己能够开心地工作 却也能存钱制造美好的将来
我知道自己自私
老大不小了没给家用 还白吃白住
我也很烦恼 我也很愧疚 我也很自责
却找不到两全其美的方法
The life that I wanted
it means no future, to them
I want a perfect life plan
I wish to happily work and save plenty of money for my future as well
I know I'm selfish
Still being a freeloader when I'm such a BIG gal now.
I'm guilty I'm troubled
But there's no way I can found as a perfect plan for me


背负着责任和谴责 让我很无助 很彷徨
我真的不知道该怎么办了
好辛苦 好难过
The responsibility The condemnation
Really exhaust me
The sorrow The depress


我好想付清所有的债务
金钱上的 人情上的
独自一个人 远走高飞
不再当别人的负担 别在为别人而活
I wish that I can clear off all the debt
money debt ... debt of gratitude
I wanna leave
somewhere far from here
I don't wanna be somebody's burden
or live for somebody anymore


is hard

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I just can't let u go

I know I'm selfish
being such a COWARD facing all the uncertainty of the future
I'm so weak to overcome my fear
My destiny
My past
And suck to verify my feelings

I don't speak
I think
And I see monochrome scene for our future

Everytime I decided to give it up
I just fail to do so
I'm such a loser
Cause I can't decide

I know someday I will belong to the sea
But not now
I'm an ice
But I love fire
I rather to being burned and melted into water
Than fell into the warm embrace of th esea

I love adventure
I love sparks
I want romantic
Now I know that I'm not a young innocent girl ANYMORE
Traditional technique just can't satisfy me

Such an idiotic woman




Tuesday, September 28, 2010

如果 IF ... *Photo: AmberChia Workshop*

如果,你的爱能弥补我受过的伤。
If your love, can fill up my wound, and make it healed.








Amber Chia Workshop, Sg Wang.

Ah~ Blur pic =( Shorty me with slim and LONG Amber lol
啊!模糊的照片~难过啦~矮冬瓜我和长长的Amber~


Make up session. Omg My eyes are so red due to the sensitiveness towards the contact lense =(
And Please ignore my rotten face T.T
化妆啦!我的眼睛竟然在这重要的日子冒血丝!而且是很恐怖的那种~隐形眼镜惹的祸~
我可怕的烂皮肤~不睡觉的后果 ~。~


Ah~ Super thick and black eyeliner with SUPER LONG falsies~ *Wink*
超黑超厚的眼线,还有超长假睫毛~不是普通的重~


My sexy back~ *vomit* Is my super wide shoulder!
超宽的肩膀~昏~






Photo session




不像我,没有修很大啦~只是灯光问题~呵呵。没有很喜欢。感觉好老 ><
Is that me? Lol. No photoshop just the different lightning present different effects.
I don't really fancy this group of photos, I look so old wei~

Sunday, September 19, 2010

算了吧

也许时间还没到
也许我真的不适合
也许我真的不需要在为无谓的事情难过~

我本来就适合一个人生活
多一个人 只会增添我的烦恼

不需要想念
不需要陪伴

你说阿~
一个人有多好

不开心就不说话
开心就蹦蹦跳跳
我不需要为别人而活
别人也不需要为我而活

也许我真的要求太多
也许我真的想太多
可是这就是我
这样的我 让自己很受伤
也让别人受伤

所以
所有的一切一切
就让我自己承担就好
就这样算了吧
就当是生命的过客


那个梦 太过于真实
我真的不想再成为 被留下来那一个
所以我先选择离开

幸福指数:-1000

Saturday, September 18, 2010

我寂寞寂寞就好了

*呵呵~
盗用歌名~不要告我*


我觉得 我好贪心
真的好贪心
好想拥有好多好多
多到我觉得自己好可怕

我也不觉得 有人可以满足我
他们也没必要满足我丫

满足我的虚荣心
忍受我的善变 我的情绪化 我的自私小气 我的无理取闹

虽然我总奢望有这个人出现
可是 到目前为止
好像只有我自己能够忍受这样的自己
这就是为什么到现在我都和自己谈恋爱~
咔咔

别人也有自己的情绪 凭什么要人家来迁就你呢?
迁就久了~也会厌倦吧


感性的我
想要像野蛮女友那样
不爽就乱打乱骂乱七八糟

理性的我
却知道这样是会吓跑人的

综合下来
变成
压抑着不快乐 却又不能假装快乐笑脸的包青天

结局就只有内伤的自己
和让别人不爽的自己




为什么 人要有情绪
我的情绪化真的是让我搞砸了好多事情




我想你的时候 我不说
我生你的气的时候 我不说
我要依赖你的时候 我不说
我要你哄我的时候 我不说
我就以为你是我肚里的蛔虫
什么都不用说你都能明白
哦 还有一点
我很顽固 =/


有时候 会想你
有时候 却觉得一个人也可以
这样反反复复
累得我想吐血

我真的想把我的右脑重新program过~
太累人了



本小姐 现在出现情绪低落症状
请保持警戒状态

欲哭无泪~

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

幸福指数





如果,
幸福冲破一百点
我要。。。


喜欢你sukidayo

Love this song!
So sweeeet =)













1.喜欢你(Su Ki Da Yo)作词:阿怪 作曲:曹俊鸿

(朋子):想要靠得这么近 现在不可以
(千佳):我们的关系只比 第一次见面(HA JI ME MA SHI TE)多一点
(爱纱):甜言蜜语慢慢说 太快听不懂
(麻衣):请温柔一些(YA SA SHI KU SHI TE NE)好好的对我
(合唱):喜欢你(SU KI DA YO)要天天说
别忘记(WA SU RE NA I DE)随时想念我
不能说你没空 每天要陪我 喜欢你(SU KI DA YO)说了就要做
别忘记(WA SU RE NA I DE)不能忘记我 现在开始加油
要你做我的 第一(I CHI BAN )男友
A-AHA-AHA YA YA YA YA A-AHA-AHA喜欢你(SU KI DA YO)
DA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA DE-LI-LI DA-LA-LA
Let's Go 一起走吧(I KI MA SHOU)
DA-LA-LA-LA LA-LA-LA DE-LI-LI DA-LA-LA
喂!喂!(MO SHI MO SHI)打电话给我 等你喔
(朋子):陪我走到家门口 再见(SA YO NA RA YO)
(爱纱):Say Good-Bye的心情 有一点Feeling Blue
(千佳):甜言蜜语慢慢说 让你听得懂
(麻衣):Love me Tender好好的对我

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

hesitate 犹豫

2个不同个性 不同背景 不同兴趣的人
真的能合得来么?

当话题不相同 沟通触礁的时候
那个尴尬的气氛

当其中一个方高谈阔论
另一方却感觉沉闷的时候

那种感觉~
好可怕 =_=
恐怕 在接下来的日子
会很难熬吧。。。

就算勉强进入对方的世界 那能维持多久~

2个不同世界的人 到底要如何相处
我真的不知道
也开始在犹豫了~
=/

Saturday, September 11, 2010

你根本没有在听

你根本没有在听!你根本没有在听!你根本没有在听!
你根本没有在听我说。



心痛 好像要把我吞噬掉了
这证明 我所需要的一些时间 让彼此更加了解彼此 是正确的
因为你根本不了解我

你说的每一句 都让我难过 难堪
所谓的相信 能够建立在一个没有基础的感情上吗?
你凭什么让我相信你?
那些随时会变成空头支票的承诺!
如果没被兑现 我又会再次被当成傻瓜

我们身在不同世界 存在许多差异
你不能为了我改变
我也不能为了你而更勇敢

因为我知道 如果这次我在倒下去
我可能无法再站起来
我花了多久的时间 多少的泪水 多少的强颜欢笑
重新建立起一个坚强的我
或者是一个不再随意让人家闯入我的世界的我

我不能再让自己受到伤害的
在这个世界上 我最爱的还是自己
因为 没有一个人能让我完全信赖

也曾经说过
我们年龄上 个性上 学历上
所有的大差距一定能克服的
只因为我已开始拒绝的理由,就是我们根本不适合在一起

可是为什么离开的时候 他却告诉我:
“你当时说的话很对 我们的确是两个世界的人 的确不适合在一起”
只留下了被泪水浸湿的承诺

我感谢他 让我认清了感情这回事只是在我人生中的绊脚石
谁要敢再给我承诺 我只会觉得滑稽
所以 不要再说些有的没的
互相体谅 互相相信的
因为我们对彼此的了解 还没到那个阶段
有本事就证明给我看。。。!
你能为我做什么?你能为我牺牲什么?

有爱情 没面包 绝不可能幸福
我们都老大不小了
思想差异引起的摩擦 更可能在感情淡化的时候随时爆发
如果我一个人不需要受苦
我跟着你 我要忍受吗?你不是说会照顾我吗?

如果你能把我当公主 疼我照顾我
用心听我说 忍受我的情绪化
不管怎样都会守护我
那为什么我现在会流下委屈的眼泪
为什么你要让我难过
因为你说的你根本做不到~!

如果有一天我接受了
一定是确定了他不会让我流半滴眼泪 受半点委屈
用尽他的所有来爱我

只想让你知道 单靠心是没用的
心是会变的 心是会变疲累的
我曾经也一直依靠着自己的心 选择自己的路
最后被留下来的是我
我不想再被留下

信心是建立在行动上的
在没有完全信任之前 我不会踏出那一步
一失足成千古恨

Thursday, September 2, 2010

低潮期

我相信 每个人都会有低潮期
可能长 可能短

对于我而言 次数还蛮频密的
=(

这几天 心情很郁闷
可能因为长时间呆在家里
偶尔就跟姐妹吵架
要不就给父母碎碎念

成天都不知道干啥
面对一整天的电脑 又会中骂
的确 少了人生目标

我也不是完全没工作
可是做了part time工 很多时间也都呆在家里
没有车 不能随处乱晃

跟朋友出去固然开心
可是会觉得累 会觉得好像再蹉跎时间

我该怎么办啊 我

最重要的是 精神上的折磨 还真的是 难熬阿
睡不够 睡不好
一觉醒来 精神差到不行
更不用提接下来的一整天了
肯定是很郁闷的









重点是
低潮期几时才过啊?!
是大姨妈要来了么?
郁闷。。。。。。

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

特别

当有个人觉得
我很特别的时候
当下我就知道
是该逃离现场了。
说我胆小,说我没种
都没关系了。

逃避,
永远是保护自己的一个模式。
不会变的。
因为,那个噩梦一直在纠缠着我。
我再也不要被耍得团团转了。

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Funny fact

The fact that,
I'm actually noob till need my parents' help to pick my future husband?
Erm.
I mean
Boyfriend.



And, they did.
I think they are so glad to do so =.=
It's not tat i let them pick from a long long list~
Just that ...
there are more than one ...
Bah~~~susah lor



0 : no market.
1 : ngam ngam
>1: headache =________=



The votes doesn't represent my stand though~

There're too many things for me to consider
Too many things to stop me from stepping forward
Stop me from getting into a relationship
The fear The situation The mindset
stopping me to step further

They(members of list LOL ) are not comparable
But they are similar
The degree of similarity makes me wanna cry
They are sooooooooooo similar with each other
but so different with me T.T



Well Well Well
Finding future partner is hard
Let nature take it's course






But the funny fact that My dad actually APPROVED one of them
making me @.@!!!

below is the conversation:

Dad: Ok lar, u can go follow this XXX to ****(place name)...
Mum:U sell daughter meh?
Me:O.O???




This is the first time i talk about my relationship problem with him since i was born!
And the first time he actually approve other people's son to take care of his dear daughter!
This is so SURPRISING and beyond my expectation!!! >________________< 21

My mum advice will be : He have to love Christ...

Erm....... now I'm under parent's guidance (yes Im 21 but im staying at home!)
So I think im restrained by her rules already~~~~
So... so ...
Pandai pandai la ... LOLx


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Anyway, Final Decision still with me right?
I'm just too confusing to make any decision right now~
My heart and mind is in a mess
Which i hate them to be in this state
I still prefer single life MAN!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Great brain, Great look, Great talent, Great achivement, Great heart, Great background, Great future, Great feeling ...
Somebody that love y0u, somebody that you love, somebody that can take care of you, somebody that can get along with you, somebody that share your interest

I don't know what's the condition of a boyfriend anymore...
and the definition of LOVE

FEELING doesn't mean everything
But WITHOUT FEELING
you got NOTHING

=============================================================
I have met someone that makes me feel warm and sweet

The little gift makes u smile
The accompaniment keep u secure
Somebody that you can rely on
But bully at the same time (haha!)



But
there's no thumping heart
u can't feel any hotness on your cheek
.
..
...
....
I dare not to think further ... =P
cause there's no more illusion on further part...



!!!!!!!! It's not the time yet I GUESS !!!!!!!!!!








I guess I will still need to carry on with my single life..
Two might not be better than one...

Anyway
I'm not a lonely creature that need some others people to intrude into my life
Getting into a relationship is not simple as
changing your FB profile status
and spread the news to the world

You have to be responsible and committed.
Not for a day, a month of a year
is for

A LIFE TIME















==============================================================
When someday
I can understand myself more
When someday
My heart could tell
I will unlock the door
to make u a VIP
in my life


=============================================================

Sunday, August 8, 2010

抚平

每当夜深人静
入梦前
胸口突然隐隐作痛
伤口
原来还在
一直来都是被忽视掉了
被刻意忘记掉了

从来没消失过

主 求你抚平我的伤口
一点点也好
就这样一点一点地复原
请你给我力量
让我勇敢 坚强
我会
遇到一个更好的人的
=)

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

头号危险人物!

人 很危险
人的嘴巴 更加危险
曾经 有人对喜欢我的人这样形容了我
佳宜吗? 你要小心



LOL 竟然有人把我这个少根筋的人
列入危险人物的行列里
笑瓜我
这样也不错 至少人家不敢随便爬到我头上来



虽然好奇
也对这个对我挂上危险人物牌子的人产生些警惕
想一想
算了吧 不要自己找事烦
啦啦啦 睡一觉 就忘掉了
想当年 如果发生同样的事情早就哭死掉了
今时不同往日咯 Don't play play


为什么要在外面散播无聊的谣言
三八咯~
为什么要在背后讲人家坏话
胆小咯~
为什么要听信别人的闲言闲语
因为不是真心的朋友
为什么宁愿赞同造谣者也不愿亲自询问当事人




Walau A~

做人为什么要那么复杂
不爽就讲
不肯定就问
不要乱听乱信再继续乱讲
不会累灭?
~



觉得我危险为什么干嘛还假假对我好
不懂是谁危险
~