Thursday, October 15, 2009


I’ve been very lazy to update my blog recently…
Lazy … lazy … lazy… LOL
Announcement : I’m officially broke! LOL
No more new clothes, no more nice food, no more fun outing. GG
Haih … My first time of being a penniless poor people.
Blame myself for overspent during the days that used to eat shop sleep eat shop sleep eat shop sleep…
Pocket: No input, many outputs.
Now, I’m broke. LOL

Now seriously I only can do some window-shopping and having my meal at foodcourt ONLY @.@
You will ask, Why don’t get money from your parents?
Because, I’m financially independent :D
I don’t have income, but I’m seriously financially independent lar!
So now I’ve to try my best to make up the hole of my pocket and spent sometimes on my financial record =.=

From today onwards, I’m not allowed to be lazy, is forbidden. =.=
Why? Because I got an elder to take care of, a senior patient, that’s my grandpa.
An 80 years old, stubborn and hot temper old man which just had a surgery last week.
(Did I mention that I spent my whole last week to visit him in the hospital?)
I’m a very filial granddaughter. But I’m not really patience enough.
So grandpa, please don’t challenge my limit.
Don't push me too hard k?
I’ll try my best to act as a servant that serve all you need when you’re not convenient.
You can yell at me as much as you can when I can’t fulfill your request or can’t get what you're trying to tell.
Let’s see how long can I stand.

Damn pissed off with my sisters.
How can they yell at me as they like when I’m their older sister?
They show no respect to me.
I knew this since 10 years ago.
How can they treat me nicely when they’re in good mood and do it in an opposite way when they’re feeling “not good”.
They used to feel “not good” for most of the time.
HEY! I’m your older sister! How can you be so disrespectful to me?
Maybe I’m weaker in everything. Since young.
Strength. Brain. Determination. Heart. Attitude.
You can’t imagine how mean can they be to me when we quarrel.
I’m not good at talking. So as scolding and quarreling!
I lost to them most of time. Ish..

How much I hope that I can have cuter sisters that like to manja to me, obey my order and won’t talk back to me.
For now, I don’t mind if they’re brainless, seriously.
My sisters are too smart to be just a younger sister.
They will still need me in their academic.
They still need me to be a driver to fetch them here and there.
But other than that, they’re independent, and Hot-temper.
They treat me in that way when they still need me?

How much I wish I can stop putting them as my priority and treating them good.
Stop buying stuff for them to see their happy faces (hardly can see) and being scolded by my parents.
I might feel better in that way.
Somehow, I felt imbalance now.
They disrespect me, so as to my parents.
No cure already =.=

I respect my parents.
Doesn’t mean I agree with every single thing that they talked and did.
I’ve been quite disappointed with them.
When they think that everything they’ve done is correct.
And mine is wrong.
Well, no more home sweet home.
I gave up already.
The day may reach when you start to understand how I feel, what I think, and give freedom for my mind.
Ya, they even control my mind, you’re not allowed to think in this way bla bla bla…
They’re not advising, but scolding, insisting, forcing and forbidding.
I’m sick of it.

The stupid bloated stomach that used to visit me once in a blue moon has been pestering me for nearly a month.
I’ve been suffering from not eating, eating too little and eating too much.
My appetite changed in one day, so as my weight and body shape. LOL
And the sudden attack of my old wound, wake me up from my deep sleep.
It cannot be considered as old wound. It’s been following me for 10 years. Never disappear.
I still can tolerate with the minor pain that I had every day.
Not with the major one.
It can torture me for few hours and forbidden me to fall asleep.
And even cry for help. ( no one can help)

The pain is unbearable.
But what can I do?
Painkiller? Definitely a No-no for me.
It won’t work and it won’t do any good on my health.
I don’t want to shorten my lifespan to enjoy that few minutes of pain-free condition.
And I’ve been told that there’re few lumps inside my body and I feel pain for unknown reason.
I was asked to have a body check-up.
Wei! You sponsor me is it?
I seriously don’t care what happened inside my body as long as they don’t interrupt my life.
There’re no where of my body part that I feel easy with.
That means all part of your body hurt?
Yea, you can say so.
I still can tahan when the pain attacked me one by one.
Not when they attack me simultaneously.
Wa, that feeling is like, You better send me to hell than let me suffering like this.
I thought I can overcome this since I first experience this kind of “situation” 10 years ago. Non-stop.
I failed! The pain can kill!
There’s no way to cure, every single doctor that I met, saying the same thing.
You can have baby, but in a harder way.
Ish, it’s not like I’m going to get married right? Haha

Wow… enough of the crap… I’m so lazy to upload photo …
Recently, I felt tired easily…zzzZZZ

1 comment:

cH33_m31 said...

i know u have some health probs...anyway must take great care more optimistic...even though i myself always emo...sobs sobs...but keep us updated here k? meet u when i go bk^^